Pain is Never Forgotten
by hiya168
Summary: The pain from a loved one's death never truly goes away. Luffy understands that very well.


A/N: So this idea randomly came to mind after I had re-watched my favorite episodes of One Piece and after I was listening to one of my favorite songs, "See You Again" by Charlie Puth and Wiz Khalifa. I was also inspired after reading a Fairytail fanfic, "CFLA- See You Again-" by Chrys Stone. This is obviously my first fanfic but I hope I do the characters and this song justice.

(Lastly, this is not set into any particular time period in the anime and I may go off from canon with the characters' personalities, so I apologize for that)

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, the italicized quotes or this song. The credit all goes to Eiichiro Oda for One Piece, and Charlie Puth and Wiz Khalifa for the amazing song that they created in memory of Paul Walker.

* * *

 _It's been a long day without you, my friend_

 _And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again_

"What's wrong, Luffy?"

Luffy didn't bother to open his eyes or move from his position. It was his turn to keep watch for the night, but even with him lying down with his eyes closed, he was still able to keep track of everything on the ship. What was abnormal was that Luffy was wearing a somber expression.

"What are you talking about, Robin?" Luffy asks, opening his eyes, but preferring to stare at the ocean. He didn't seem surprised to find her awake. He knew that Robin was a light sleeper and tended to occasionally wake up throughout the night and take a walk around the deck.

Instead of elaborating, Robin just chooses to sit beside him, legs crossed, book opened to a random page, and simply wait for an answer.

Silence surrounds the two, with the occasional crashing waves against the ship and winds blowing through the sails. It isn't an uncomfortable one though. Robin knows Luffy will eventually speak up.

"Do you know what today is?" Luffy finally asks, reaching up to cover his face with his straw hat.

 _We've come a long way from where we began_

 _Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again_

 _When I see you again_

Robin could take a guess, but still questioned, "What is it?"

Luffy takes a deep breath and his face seems to contort in slight pain.

"Today is the day that I should've died."

Robin did not expect that, staring wide-eyed at her captain, her book forgotten on the grass now.

 _Gunshots. Shouting. Explosions. Something wet coating Luffy's hand._

" _It's no use. My organs have been burned. I can't hold out any longer. I can tell that my life is ending."_

It's no use. The memories can't be held back anymore. Biting his lip and crinkling his hat with his hand, the dull ache only grows larger.

" _I wouldn't even have a will to live if it weren't for Sabo and a high-maintenance brother like you. Oh yeah. If you see Dadan someday, say hello for me. When I face my own death, I even miss a woman like her."_

Luffy's hands are in fists now. His scar is throbbing, but that doesn't compare to the ache growing in his soul.

" _There is one thing that makes me wanna stay. That is my desire to see you fulfill your dream. But I'm sure you can do it. Because you're my brother!"_

Robin watches as tears streak down Luffy's tears, unsure if he even knows they're there.

" _Like we promised that day, I have no regret in my life. Something tells me that what I truly wanted was not fame. Did I deserve to be born? What I wanted was the answer for that question. I can't raise my voice to let everybody hear me anymore. Could you tell them what I'm about to say now?"_

Luffy knows that the blood he feels on his hand is a shadow of his memory so he grabs at his hair and vigorously shakes his head in an attempt to stop feeling this pain. He doesn't want to hear Ace's last words again. Isn't it enough that he's relived this memory every night? Getting to little or no sleep the closer it gets to this day every year. Isn't it enough that Luffy has this big scar on his chest to remind him of his failure? He couldn't save one of the most important people to him. Wasn't two years long enough that the pain should have lessened already? Apparently, his body and mind didn't think so. Was this his heart or soul breaking into a thousand pieces again?

" _Pops. Everybody. And you, Luffy. Thank you for loving someone like me who is good for nothing and who has such bad blood in his veins up to today. Thank you!"_

Luffy pounds his fist on the grassy deck, unable to keep his sobs silent any longer. Why did Ace have to die? It should have been him. Why did he have to protect him? He was supposed to save Ace, not gotten him killed. Why hadn't he left that stupid piece of paper and dodged Akainu's punch instead? What was the point of the paper if the person it was connected to was gone?

 _Damn, who knew?_

 _All the planes we flew_

 _Good things we been through_

 _That I'll be standing right here talking to you_

' _Bout another path_

 _I know we loved to hit the road and laugh_

 _But something told me that it wouldn't last_

 _Had to switch up_

 _Look at things different, see the bigger picture_

 _Those were the days_

 _Hard work forever pays_

 _Now I see you in a better place_

"Why did it have to be him? Why couldn't it have been me?! Why wasn't I strong enough to move?!" Luffy screams into the night, grabbing fistfuls of grass. His sobs cause his entire body to shake. He doesn't even care anymore that he might look like a baby and that the others might wake up. Luffy just can't take the pain anymore.

Robin almost allows her own tears to fall, seeing the sheer devastation on Luffy's face. Has he been thinking this way all this time? That he didn't deserve to live?

" _Did you guys know? We can become brothers if we exchange this cup of sake! When we become brothers we might not be on the same ship, but our brotherhood will always be with us!"_

Luffy continues to sob into the ground, fists full of grass, even as he heard several footsteps coming toward their direction.

He kept his fetal position until his body couldn't produce any more tears but the shaking continues. He knows that his crew are all either sitting or laying down near him but he doesn't want to acknowledge them yet.

Reluctantly, Luffy closes his eyes, mentally exhausted; feeling just a little comfort being surrounded by his crew, his family, even if his soul still felt shattered and nothing was going to fix it.

Because Luffy knows when he opens his eyes again that his second treasure will be around him. So, even if he broke down in front of his crew and now is too tired to think anymore, he will go back to trying to focus on the present. Hopefully, he'll fine the answers to his questions one day, maybe even with the help of his crew. But even if they can't, Luffy resolves to not have to feel the pain of losing somebody that he loves ever again. After all, it was his duty as captain. And in the deep recesses of his mind, Luffy acknowledges that if he ever did lose somebody again, that he'll make sure he follows them to wherever they're going.

 _It's been a long day without you, my friend_

 _And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again_

* * *

A/N 2: I'm not too crazy about the ending, but I'm proud that I got something out because I tend to lose motivation easily and this took me the better part of 2 years to complete. But if I made you feel any kind of emotion then I've accomplished something.

Please favorite and review and let me know how I could improve or what y'all thought of this!

Updated 1/29/18 (I re-read and fixed some parts so hope this flows better)


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